In the years sinceThe Rose,Caserta and her story have been featured in numerous Joplin documentaries and biographies.
I found myself on Haight Street, Caserta would write inI Ran Into Some Trouble.
The Grateful Dead lived at 710, I lived at 635, and Janis lived at 634.
Peggy Caserta and Janis JoplinHerb Greene/Getty
I had opened my window and she was opening hers at the same time.
She happened to notice me, hung her head out the window and said, Hiya honey!
with her southern inflection.
I said, Hiya!
It shattered all conception of what was possible to convey within the realm of music and vocalization.
Caserta had found a kindred spirit, and the two soon met again, this time at Mnasidika.
Janis, not yet the star shed become in a matter of months, was broke.
Casertas book chronicles the rest:
Yes, you might…
I said, and her face brightened.
But how bout you just take em?
No, I cant do that, she said as confusion and elation took turns in her eyes.
Sure you’re able to, go ahead, you’re able to take em.
Wont you get in trouble?
Nah, dont worry.
Its OK, really.
Im gay, and lived a gay lifestyle even then.
How can you not love somebody that clearly digs you that much?
People say, Come on, Peggy, admit it, she was in love with you.
Well, I cant.
We never said I love you, ever.
And she loved that we were both Southern girls.
I never believed that, nor did I really want that.
Joplin and Caserta would use Pearl and Ruby as pet names thereafter).
But back to that final night.
The missed rendezvous would haunt Caserta for the rest of her days.
Asked in 2018 if she had any regrets, she answered, Of course I do.
I wish that Seth had been there that last night.
Or that I had been there.
Or that we both had been there.
Some people say, Oh, we lost her so young.
Well, for me, I regret that we lost her at all.
I figured wed be friends forever.
I regret that I wasnt there that night when she tripped and fell.
I could have picked her up.
In 2018 she said, I was hiding for those first 25 years.
Later, social media brought it all back to life.
And Id think, Oh my God.
I got on the phone and said, Now you listen to me.
Dont call my mother anymore.
And if Janis wanted to talk to me, she would come tomein a dream, not you.
For years, many people held me responsible for Janiss death, Caserta wrote.
Despite the fact that it was Janis who introduced me to heroin and not the other way around.
But the deeper problem was with a peculiar blindness among the hippies.
They were a very heterosexual movement.
It was unusual to be the only known lesbian in the entire mix of people.
Or, at least that is how I remember it.
Perhaps I had signed away that right in my drugged haze.
I cannot blame anyone for me being strung out on heroin.
My instincts were dulled at best.
I naively believed all would be well, as I had been assured.
I received my first copy of the book while in Mazatlan.
I remember looking out at the ocean and reading the first paragraph.
Instantly I got a sinking feeling in my stomach and my hands started shaking.
I thought, Oh my God, they didnt.
I couldnt read anymore.
I just fell apart.
What could I do about it.
It was already in print.
I only remember going off the rails.
Many decades would pass before Caserta would leave heroin and, to a lesser extent, regrets behind.
But even then, life would have more hurdles for Peggy Caserta.
Still, she had saved her mother, their dogs and herself from disaster.
She endedI Ran Into Some Troublewith this memory of her mother:
Her little face searches mine.
I call you Mother all the time.So that means youre my daughter.
She seems satisfied by this.Then she asks, Well, wheres Peggy?
Caserta was preceded in death by her parents, Sam and Novelle.
She leaves no survivors.
