The short answer: Yes.
I want you to know that.
And how could I really?
Youre all so famous, so talented, so powerful, you could really do anything.
Well, except tell the country who to vote for.
Some of the better jokes:
On nominated TV shows: The Bear, The Penguin, Baby Reindeer.
These are not just things found in RFK Jr.s freezer.
On nominated films: Wicked, Queer, Nightbitch.These are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms.
On streaming: If youre watching on CBS, hello.
If youre watching on Paramount Plus, you have six days left to cancel your free trial.
And: Eddie Redmayne did TV this year, hes nominated for PeacocksThe Day of the Jackal.
Its about a top secret elite sniper that no one can find because hes on Peacock.
I think Ive seen more actual peacocks in my life than a show on Peacock.
Some other good lines:
Denzel Washington is here forGladiators 2, Cynthia Erivo is here forWicked.
Martin Short is here because we have cameras.
(That one seemed to particularly tickle Steve Martin.)
Zendaya, you were incredible inDune.
Oh my God, I woke up for all of your scenes.
AndChallengers, girl, oh my God, it was so good.
I mean, that movie was more sexually charged than Diddys credit card.
Shades of Lettermans Uma-Oprah bit, except it worked.
OnWicked: Everyone lovedWicked.
On Glen Powell: What a year youve had.
On Nicole Kidman: Thank you so much for all of your hard work.
But it can be a woman, but it never is.
Kind of like Best Director.
