Its a dick measuring contest, recounts Trofimova.
No one believed that this would happen.
Then I remembered what it was.
Director Anastasia Trofimova in VeniceAFP via Getty Images
Everybody has a relative who died in one of the conflicts.
I realized that the world we used to live in no longer exists.
Some people realized it faster, some slower.
Russia closed the CBC bureau Moscow two months later and stripped its staff of their visas and accreditations.
Its not my first war, says the filmmaker and news producer who worked in Syria and Iraq.
When the war comes to my backyard, Im not leaving.
Trofimova spent the first year documenting every aspect of life in Russia under the war.
I traveled all over Russia, trying to speak to soldiers who were coming back from the war.
They spoke to me, but in a very minimal way.
They didnt want to speak too much about it.
I spoke to relatives whod lost soldiers, whod lost their sons.
I spoke to human rights organizations, she recounts.
This gap made her even more determined to connect with Russian soldiers serving in the war.
In history, we dont remember which hill was taken, we remember human stories.
We rememberAll Quiet On the Western Front, she says.
We dont have that… this war is about slogans.
Its like a game.
She joined him under the radar, without any sort of military authorization.
I was not really allowed, but not really forbidden, to be in the rear.
I stuck around and people slowly got used to me.
They found me amusing and weird.
This girl from Moscow who wanted to film them.
They were like, How about this?
I pretended to be a piece of the furniture.
He looks at me and is like, Ah, the journalist fucking made it here, says Trofimova.
She managed to stay on but kept her distance from the main command headquarters.
My number one concern throughout this whole film was to keep my characters out of harms way.
Trofimova double and triple-checked with the interviewees on whether they were happy about appearing in the film.
It cant get much worse.
Im not sure what the reaction will be in Russia to this film from the authorities.
I definitely dont think this war brings anything good to Russia.
I hope it will finish and will not escalate, she says.
Everyday somebody in Ukraine and in Russia is becoming an orphan or widow, and this has to stop.
